Revising our Descriptive Paragraphs

Today, we revised our descriptive paragraphs and started writing a second draft. Most of us traded papers with a partner, but some of us decided to revise our own papers.

Here are the directions:

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Steps for Peer Reviewing

Step 1: Highlight

• Strong, unique, and interesting adjectives: Green/blue
• Dull, weak, or nonspecific adjectives: Pink/Orange

Step 2: Annotating

• You will make comments throughout the paragraph, using the margins on the side. Read each category carefully. You must use at least one sentence stem from each of the following categories throughout your peer's paper. (Instead of writing it on their paper, please write these on the green half-sheet.)
• Concrete Details: Are the details effective and why?
• Your details are effective according to the rubric because...
• Your details can be improved by...
• Purpose: Can you understand the purpose the writer is trying to accomplish? Why or why not?
• You clearly establish purpose in your writing by...
• Your writing becomes confusing at times because...

Step 3: 2 Stars and 1 Wish

• At the bottom of the green page, write two stars (strengths) and one wish (one weakness and how they can improve it)

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On the screen, I projected these additional directions:

•Step 1 – Highlight on their paper. YOU CAN USE DIFFERENT COLORS IF YOU NEED TO. MAKE A COLOR KEY ON THEIR PAPER SO THEY KNOW WHAT THE COLORS MEAN.
•Steps 2 and 3 – Write in complete sentences on the green half sheet. This is where you are suggesting and helping them fix and “upgrade” their paper.


•When you are done, switch your papers back and start writing a new draft of your paragraph. When they are due, these paragraphs should be between 100 and 150 words long.

Here is the rubric that we will be using to grade these paragraphs. For the first (Ordinary Object) paragraph, we will only be using the Concrete Details part of the rubric. As we continue with more practice, we will include other parts of the rubric.