Essay Revisions - Day 2

Today, we looked at a model essay and analyzed it for its thesis, details, analysis, and "threading." Threading is when you use key words from your thesis and find related words in your body paragraphs. For example, if your thesis in this paper says something about how memories can be a positive influence, then you should have details in your body paragraph that support that idea.

For example:
In your thesis: "Memories can be a positive influence."
In the body paragraph: "smile" "remembered fondly" "family bonds" "bonding time"

Here is a link to my very imperfect first draft. (Clean copy - no highlighting.)

Here is a copy of what we did to it in class today:

Class work from 12/1/2015